Girl: "Cool if I text you later?"
Guy: "Sure"
"Sure" actually means hell no you crazy bi-otch. But guys say sure because they think it'll get them some sort of credit for not being a total jerk. NEWSFLASH. It doesn't. It makes you look worse and if the girl hadn't already made a voodoo doll of you - she is making one now. Just say no. Just say, "ya know you seem like a great girl but I don't think you and I mesh well." Will she hate (aka be dramatic and think the world is ending even though she probably wasn't interested either) you for a little bit? Well yes. It is built into the extra X chromosome to be a little dramatic. We're entitled to it. But down the road she will thank you. No games. Honesty. I swear guys would have it so much easier if they would just man up and be honest. Use words like yes and no instead of probably, sure, and okay.
Online dating has become the biggest secret app on every smart phone. Well maybe if I spill my heart to a thousand strangers my true love will find me because surely he too downloaded this free app. I think online dating can work, don't get me wrong. A couple of my favorite couples met online. But I have to say I'm fully amused by free apps for online dating. It's like a feeding ground for schmucks. The pick up lines are quite amusing - Do you have a quarter? {why} So I can call my mom and tell her I just saw the girl of my dreams. And the sexual innuendos or outright "compliments" are nauseating. But the most amusing part is how accurate Brad Paisley's song, "Online," is. You really never know when you walk into that coffee shop what will really be waiting for you. Is he the Leonardo DiCaprio look alike you saw on Plenty of Fish? Or does he look more like a cross between Justin Bieber and Golum?
But none of this is my biggest issue with dating right now. Somewhere along the way guys lost their cajonas. I'm a very independent 23 year old. I have my own business. I don't need a guy in my life. So if I'm going to go on a date I want a guy to say, "Hey are you free Monday at 6?" Why yes, I am. "Awesome I want to take you to a movie and dinner." Fabulous, can't wait. I don't want, "Hey when are you free" aka I have absolutely no idea what kind of plans I want to make but I'm going to ask you to pull out your planner and tell me when you're free just so I can waste your time. What is with the indecisiveness?! Why do the ladies now have to make the plans? Hopefully I'm just finding or dating the wrong guys but the general reaction I'm getting from my other single early-20s friends is that this is a common trend.
It may sound like it, but I'm really not high maintenance. I would be happy with a guy who can respect my independence, is honest, caring, intelligent, and can make some freakin' plans. But dating in 2013 is a whole new game and often it's hard to justify even coming up to the plate.
edit: Love you all but this is in no way meant as a woe is me I'm not dating. Just an amusing perspective on current dating trends and the annoying games. And my comment about plans - intended to be about guys having no idea what they even want to DO even if the date needs to be negotiated. ;)
Sounds like you are needing to date someone older than the guys you are currently honoring with your attention. I think an older guy (not old guy - just older) would be more decisive ;)
ReplyDeleteYou've got this Jenn! You are talented, beautiful, driven, intelligent, and do not need a guy to complete you. You have time so take it and enjoy the journey of finding that special someone who is right for you. Nothing saying you have to date when you do not feel like dating :) You will want to from time to time and eventually you will discover why all these flounders have not been worth throwing your line in the water for. <3
It is true that when you stop looking, you usually find "him". Spend your twenties just enjoying life, concentrate on your business and have fun. The right guy will come along - without cheesy or insulting pick-up lines - when the time is right. Use this time to become the woman who can handle him when he shows up :)
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the difference between dating guys and men. They're out there, but it's hard to find them online dating. Especially if you just put your profile up and wait for responses. I met my husband online dating, but I approached him first.
ReplyDeleteIt's a lot easier to weed out the overgrown children when you're actually weeding.